It is said that “each head is a small world”, this is because each person filters reality through their life experiences, values and beliefs, projecting their own experiences into situations and relationships. This can make it difficult to communicate effectively with others and find a meeting point that satisfies the interlocutors involved.
In the modern world, daily interactions are multiple and having communication skills is essential if you want to achieve greater personal and professional results. Mediation, conflict management and communication skills for managing complex situations are essential for living in harmony in different life contexts.
Nowadays there are many ways to acquire these skills: you can attend classroom courses, follow webinair or carry out personalized coaching courses for the development of soft skills. There are also many books dealing with these topics, one of them, a must-read, is Dale Carnegie’s best-seller ” How to Win Friends and Influence People ” which sets out three fundamental guiding principles for effective communication that we present below.
Principle 1: sincere appreciation
Focusing on problems, highlighting the differences between oneself and others and making criticisms does not help to create a good relationship and to establish the conditions for good communication. It is essential to create relationships of trust and this is possible thanks to the sincere appreciation and valorisation of the other. This mental and communicative attitude promotes understanding and constructive confrontation.
In this regard, the author quotes “Criticism is useless because it puts people on the defensive and immediately leads them to seek justification. It is dangerous because it hurts people’s pride, makes them feel powerless and arouses resentment”.
Principle 2: encouragement and enthusiasm
The American philosopher John Dewey argued that the most felt need of human nature was the desire to feel important.
One of the fundamental pillars for effective communication is therefore to encourage and motivate the interlocutor, involving him and asking for his opinion. This engaging attitude allows you to create a good relationship and have the interlocutor’s attention and collaboration.
Principle 3: Creating constructive and positive relationships
It is not necessary to create friendships with anyone, what is essential instead is to learn to be curious and interested in the world of the other in a spontaneous way. People often pretend that others care about them, while it is much easier and more rewarding to embrace someone else’s way of thinking and seeing the world. This attitude favors the construction of positive and constructive relationships.
These are just some of the basic principles for effective communication, but if integrated they bring a marked improvement in relationships. Aristotle states that man is a social animal, if he learns to coexist with others through effective communication, he will not only arrive at his own goals, but will make his own life and that of others better.